Rogue Review

The Adventures of Tintin

2011-12-23T17:50:00.000-08:00

    Indiana Jones, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson. If you are in any way familiar with these three people, you should have a pretty good idea of what you’re going to get with Tintin in terms of quality.

     I’ll admit that I’ve never read a Tintin comic, and prior to the movie trailer my knowledge of the franchise’s very existence was only shaky at best. Something like the morning after a hard night of drinking, where events of the previous night would never have crossed your mind if not for someone convincing you that yes, you did in fact throw a drink in some girl’s face because she was wearing a Bear’s jersey. And even then you’re not quite sure if you actually remember it or if your mind just fabricated some vague visual cues.

    But unlike that embarrassing situation, The Adventure of Tintin is a movie you will remember unaided for a very long time.

    I remember seeing the trailer a few months ago and being rather impressed with the animation shown. Seeing it on the big screen was another thing entirely. It’s likely the most visually appealing and technically impressive CGI movie I have ever seen. The animation takes a pretty realistic visual approach, but it’s blended with so much color and pop that every scene becomes a visual treat. I’ve since seen artwork from the Tintin comics, and the characters faces do a good job of matching up with the same vibe as the comics, while often times looking photorealistic. The hairs on Tintin’s head blow in the wind as individuals, the reflections in glass caught my eye more than a few times, and water splashes and swirls to the point of perfection.

    Anyone bummed out by the last Indiana Jones movie, (oh that’s right, all of you), should definitely find time to catch this one, as it’s really the best Indy flick since The Last Crusade. Everything from the 1930’s setting, globetrotting and adventurous spirit, to the thrilling action, likable characters and humor screams Dr. Jones. You can tell Spielberg pulled from the same inspirations at every turn.

Come on, Shortrou-...er, Snowy!

    The story isn’t going to be the big draw for anyone, but it’s enjoyable enough. It’s a pleasant mystery adventure that propels the characters from one set-piece to the next, and should keep you interested throughout. The character’s themselves are all distinct and likable with their own little quirks and personalties, but Tintin and Captain Haddock really steal the show.

    Two scenes in particular that really did it for me include a pirate-battle flashback on stormy seas, (which puts anything in Pirates of the Caribbean to shame), and a thrilling chase scene through Morocco that goes on for what felt like minutes as one continuous shot. It was likely the best scene in film I’ve seen all year.

    The Adventures of Tintin is an achievement in animation that deserves your attention on the big screen. Take your girlfriend or a younger sibling if you’re worried about walking into a “kid’s” movie, but I guarantee that this is an adventure which can appeal to all ages and audiences.

Final Score: 9.0

Bargain Bin Reviews

2011-08-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

It’s been a long while since I’ve reviewed anything. This is mostly due to my perpetual laziness, but I can assure you that I’ve thought about reviewing things. On many occasions. I’ve played about a dozen new games over the last few months and have seen a new movie every week since I reviewed Source Code.

So in the interest of time, I’m going to review a few games I recently had the pleasure of playing in the same post. “But that seems like your still just being lazy!” you say? Don’t worry, I’ve come up with a theme to make it meaningful.

It’s summer, and any gamer knows that this is an ugly time of the year filled with horrible digitial drought. It’s around this time that I always like to go and browse the bargain bins and play those games that I just didn’t have the time or money to play when they were released.

On my most recent quest for cheap games I ended up with three “gems” that I was really interested in before their release, but was turned off by mixed reviews. These three games are Metro: 2033, The Saboteur, and Alpha Protocol. All of them were about 20 dollars each, but I had one of those handy Buy 2 Get 1 coupons from Gamestop for renewing my Rewards membership. WIN.

Also note; the scores are relevant to purchasing the game at their bargain bin value. I wouldn’t give the same scores to these games if they were 60 dollars.

Alpha Protocol

What I liked:

Going into this, I was looking forward to the Bioware-like conversation system, non-linear story and ability to make choices. The game certainly delivers on all these parts. The conversation system lets you choose a general reaction in conversations, like “suave” or “aggressive”. But what makes it different from Mass Effect or Dragon Age 2 is the timer. At first the timer really pissed me off. In Mass Effect I would often sit for a minute and ponder over all the possible consequences of each response. But the timer in Alpha Protocol only gives you about two seconds to decide, and the timer starts running as the other person is talking and finishes when they do. This system makes the dialogue in the cutscenes sound much more natural, and makes the experience much more cinematic. Some of the response choices are vague however, and occasionally your character, "Mike”, will say something completely different than what you were expecting him to. And I do mean that in the bad way.

The choices you are able to make really do have an impact on the story. The people you work with on missions depends on who you made alliances with and who you screwed over. Befriending a German mercenary-cougar will bag you her organizations help, while making enemies of someone else who doesn’t all that much care for cougars. Or, you can just be a rogue player and screw everyone over. Literally if female, figuratively if male.

The number of ways to play each mission and the resulting consequences are some of the best I’ve ever seen in a video game. Period.

What I didn’t like:

Basically everything else. The graphics range from passable to bad. The controls are stiff and cumbersome. Glitches run rampant, the leveling system is unbalanced, and a few of the game’s bosses are so stupidly frustrating that I nearly sold the game back on three separate occasions. They were horrible.

You can change Mike’s look a little bit, (such as the hair, beard or glasses) but your otherwise stuck with his bland default look. The stealth system can range from okay, to frustrating, to broken. The only thing that drove me past all these problems was the game's story and dialogue system. Getting to interact with the game’s numerous interesting characters was the carrot at the end of the stick over a long, brutal road. A road full of potholes, fallen trees, rusty nails and gangs of raiders still pissed about getting their asses kicked by Mad Max.

Worth it?:

Despite all those problems I listed; I’d still recommend this game if you could find it for 10 dollars. Not the 20 I payed, (thought technically it was my free game). The choice system alone is worth it, and if you can bear all the problems more than once, the replay value is extremely high with multiple classes, background stories and hundreds of choices.

Bargain Bin Score:

7.0

Metro: 2033

What I liked:

Atmosphere. Atmosphere. Atmosphere.

Did I mention the atmosphere? Atmosphere: in case I didn’t.

This game does a great job of drawing you into the possibility of a post-nuclear war Russia; you know, in case you were really concerned about something like that. The lighting and sound are phenomenal, (though it’s sometimes a bit too dark) and the story (based on the popular Russian novel of the same name) is interesting enough to drive you along.; as if the atmosphere weren’t enough. Old lanterns flicker and glow over tired faces, shadows reach up the rounded subway walls, and gunshots echo away into the dark unknown. On the surface, the cracked and foggy glass of a gas mask distorts your view, growing icy around the edges as you push your air supply to the limit while braving the snow. Predatory gargoyles shatter the silence with a roar from the distant church spire, and deformed mutant-rats watch hungrily from the dark crevices. The mood is just unreal.

The game also strives for realism, which I’m persoanlly a really big fan of. Money is done through bullets. Unused shells can either be spent on better equipment or used in a tight situation when you run out of common “dirty” ammo.

Going up to the surface? Your going to need a gas mask. Oh, and filters too. Those need to be replaced every 5 minutes or so, depending on their condition. You’ll know when to switch because of the watch visible on your wrist. You will also have about thirty seconds to frantically search for a new mask if a mutant happens to smash the one you’re wearing. Good luck.

The game has a HUD, but it only appears sparingly; such as when you switch guns or hover over a new weapon on the ground. You can also turn of the aiming reticule for further realism, and rely only on the iron sights.

Shooting out lights is necessary if you want to remain undetected, and finding some night-vision goggles can go a long way toward launching a successful sneak attack. Weapons also have tons of upgrades so that you can tailor your arsenal to your playstyle. Need a sniper but only have a pistol? Put a stock and scope on it. Need something quiet but don’t want to lose the punch on your magnum? Grab a pneumatic weapon and be sure to keep it pumped.

The game just does a phenomenal job of keeping you in the experience, so crank the volume and turn out the lights. You can even turn all the voicework to Russian if you so desire.

What I didn’t like:

Not to much not to like. The game isn’t too high budget, so it has a rough corner here and there. The stealth mechanics are great when they work, but occasionally an enemy will spot you when he really shouldn’t have been able to.

A pair of later levels have a ridiculous difficulty spike and some frustrating enemies, but it wasn’t anything too unbearable.

A few areas were hell to play without night vision goggles, which the game doesn’t give you by default. If you happen to find them, life will be much easier.

There’s also a morality system of sorts that is hidden within the game, but it doesn’t let you know anything about it. I found out later on some forums that depending on certain choices you make, there is an alternate ending. Now when I play games, I’m always a nice guy, giving money to the virtual beggars and saving people while refusing the rewards. But apparently I didn’t do enough for Metro because I didn’t get the “good” ending. It doesn’t really mean that the other, easier to get ending is the “bad” one, but you get it for not doing enough good deeds. It would have been nice to see some sort of indicator or hint that let you know this system even existed, since these events that it records are extremely vague and subtle. I suppose it was just another “realism” feature they wanted to implement, and I also have a reason to play the game again.

Worth it?:

For 20 bucks? Hell yes. One of the most underrated games I’ve played for this generation of consoles. The game isn’t terribly long, and there isn’t much replay value other than to see the second ending, but for a bargain price this is a great title. Also, if you haven’t seen the trailers for the sequel Metro: Last Light, they look amazing. They also promise it to be the best looking console game to date for all you graphic junkies.

Bargain Bin Score:

9.0

The Saboteur

What I liked:

Digital tits

Oh! And other stuff...

The thing I thought The Saboteur did best was the gameplay; and that’s the most important aspect of a game! Right?

Driving around an authentic 1940’s Paris in a sexy racecar with an entire divsion of angry Nazis in tow never got old. Rigging that racecar with a bomb and driving it into the Nazi checkpiont below the Eiffel Tower, calling in backup resistance fighters and escaping in a German Wulf Tank unnoticed didn’t either.

The Saboteur combines stealth and espionage, cover-based gunplay and racing all into a really solid experience. The game feels like a really sytlized blend of Assassin’s Creed and Grand Theft Auto. There’s even a “climb anything” type mechanic similar to the AC series. Though it’s not as fluid or pretty looking, it works; and that’s what is important. There are tons of guns to buy, lots of cars to collect, perks to unlock, things to upgrade, and 1338 “freeplay targets” to destroy. They’re kind of like the birds in GTA or flags in Assassin’s Creed, but actually fun to find. They are thing to sabotage and destroy like Nazi towers, checkpoints, vehicles, officers or AA guns that not only get you achievements but help with the story missions too if destroy them ahead of time. For example, if you know your going to need an escape route one mission, you might want to find an exit road and plant explosives on the Nazi sniper towers there for a smooth getaway.

The shooting is smooth and enemies don’t have annoying health bars capable of absorping entire clips, (unlike Alpha Protocol). The bosses also make sense in terms of the story and setting and aren’t stupid, campy or frustrating (also unlike Alpha Protocol).

Driving feels great once you get a knack for the controls and learn how to properly drift (hint: you need to do it like you would in real life), and the cars all feel really distinct from each other.

The story is good; but the characters are what really make the world shine. Every one of your two dozen or so friends and enemies are unique and memorable, despite some of their cliche’s. The voice acting is fantastic, and listening to Sean (the main character) banter with his British lady-friend is always amusing.

There are also tons of things to do and different ways of approaching each mission. Want to storm that castle with the zeppelin hovering overhead? Go for it, but be sure to bring a panzerscheck or hijack an AA gun early on to take down that balloon. Want to steal a Nazi disguise and rig the entire place with dynamite, then safely watch it explode from a nearby hill? That works just as well.

What I didn’t like:

As with Metro: 2033, the postitives far outweight the negatives. The suspicion system, which let’s you know if Nazi’s are growing wary of you, works most of the time but is a little wonky on occassion. Wearing a Nazi uniform makes you unnoticible from long distances, but if an enemy is close to you they actually get more suspicous of you then they would if were just in your regular clothes. This means that disguises are really only useful in restricted areas, where you would be attacked instantly if in your civilian clothes.

There are a few resistance HQ’s around Paris where you respawn after dying, (unless you have a mission checkpoint), and it usually respawns you at the one fartherst away from whatever you were doing. This dampened my motivation to play on occassion, but wasn’t anything too awful.

Also, there is an extremely annoying flamethrower weilding enemy unit toward the final act of the game. The fire will kill you about 3 times as fast as anything else in the game, (explosions aside), and if the guy is in front of you his flamethrower doubles as a blinder. You just have to spray and pray and hope you get a headshot before he turns you into crème brulee.

And finally, the game’s developer Pandemic was closed by EA after this game was released. That, combined with less than stellar sales means we will probably never see a sequel, and you’ll get a sad little feeling in your heart at the end of the game knowing that you won’t get to see anymore of the stellar characters and stylish presentation.

Worth it?:

Most definitely. It’s the perfect bargain bin game. Out of the three games here, this one will give you the most sheer fun and bang for your buck. I put about 25 hours into the campaign, doing all the side-missions, but I only destroyed about 20% of the freeplay targets. I’m saving those for a rainy day, but I’m sure they’ll give me another 10 hours at least. For 20 dollars you get all that gameplay, and every moment of it is a blast. Tons of unscripted events and HOLY-SHIT-DID-YOU-SEE-THAT! moments are to be had. Plus, digital tits.

Bargain Bin Score:

10.0

Source Code

2011-04-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

The delightful season of summer blockbusters has yet to roll in, and so far this year I haven’t visited the theater too much. I took my younger sister to see Rango, which was an enjoyable flick, and I saw Battle: Los Angeles and wrote up a review on it. I was planning to see Sucker Punch this week (despite all the negatives reviews I’ve read), but a friend called and asked if I’d go see the midnight of Source Code.

I went into the movie expecting the average and came out pleasantly surprised.

I’ve been a fan of Jake Gyllenhaal since Donnie Darko and was looking forward to that, but the trailer gave me the impression this was just going to be an early summer action-thriller that planned on using a bit of a nonlinear plotline as a hook. What I ended up seeing was a film that struck me as a blend between something Alfred Hitchcock would direct and the German film Run Lola Run (and maybe a bit of Donnie Darko). If you haven’t yet seen Run Lola Run, you really should, because it’s a great movie. If you’ve never seen a film directed by Hitchcock…well then shame on you. Do yourself and your cultural base a favor and go watch one of them. Rear Window, Psycho, North by Northwest, Vertigo; pick one, they’re all good.

I don’t really like giving anything away to people before they see a movie, but the basic premise of the film is that there is an imminent terrorist attack, and by sending Jake Gyllenhaal into a program known as Source Code, he can relive the last eight minutes of a man’s life. Most of the movie takes place on a train, where Gyllenhaal must repeatedly relive the same eight minutes over in over in hopes of discovering who is behind the terrorist attack.

The movie plays out as a great thriller, feeding the audience new clues, background information of Gyllenhaal’s unknown past and mini twists at a pretty steady pace. I do have to mention however the disappointing identity of the terrorist, whom both my friend and I were able to call out about 15 minutes into the movie. A little bit more subtlety would have been nice in that department, (or perhaps my friend and I are just expert investigators), but the movie has other plotlines and elements going on that it wasn’t too big a deal.

"I have the strangest feeling this has all happened before"

Gyllenhaal and female lead Michelle Monaghan both play their parts notably well, the former especially. All the passengers of the train are convincing in their roles, and Vera Farmiga and Jeffery Wright are both sufficient in their roles as well. I don’t suspect many complaints in the performance department for Source Code.

I did have a bit of a problem with the ending, and I know some others in the audience did as well. One half of it I really like, while the other seemed to just slap the rest of the movie in the face. I understood how the final scene of the movie occurs and what happens, but the characters make quite a point of stating how it could never happen because of how the Source Code program works. Perhaps this was intentional, but I would have liked to see something or someone at least try to explain or comment on how it had happened. But all in all it was a satisfying ending, and the hour and forty minute run time suited the plot well, since the same scenario is repeated so many times. Though I usually prefer longer films, if this one were any longer it may have started to grow stale quickly.

Looking at all the movies playing at my local theater, I’d be fairly confident saying that Source Code is probably the best movie you could go see this weekend. It’s a great film that I hope gets some of the attention it deserves, though it isn’t really the sort of movie that will be showing up at next year’s Oscars. Go ahead and give this one a shot before the deluge of unnecessary super hero flicks begin clogging theaters come this summer.

Final Score: 8.0

Battle: Los Angeles

2011-03-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

The essence of this film can be summed up in three words.

AMERRRICAAA, FUCK YEAAAAAA!

Battle: Los Angeles kind of works out like a dramatic U.S. military recruiting video with a colossal Hollywood budget, and though it won’t be winning any Oscars next year, serves as an enjoyable popcorn flick.

Join now, and kill aliens today!

The highlight of this alien-invasion film is its special effects. From the opening sequence to the final fade out, Battle: LA delivers a plethora of eye candy. The action is constant, the sound is loud, and the explosions throw the characters around like clockwork. The durability of the soldiers is quite remarkably, actually, surviving RPG and C4-rigged bus explosions like The Terminator.

Where the movie fails is in its feeble attempts at trying to be something deeper and thoughtful than it could ever hope to be. The dialogue is merely passable when not slightly laughable, and

the movie really wants the audience to feel sympathy for the characters, (U.S. marines in specific) but the only two they ever give us any insight into are Aaron Eckhart’s character and Ne-Yo’s. I’m not trying to say I’m not patriotic and don’t love my country, but everything the characters do is just so overly heroic and glorious that it’s hard to take serious. The soldiers in this movie are some of the most cool-headed and unwavering in the face of danger that Hollywood has ever depicted.

The entire movie then follows a pattern as such:

Soldiers enter moment of calm

Soldiers enter quiet suspense, with aliens lurking in the smoke and shadow beyond

Soldiers engage in combat, over-dramatic music rises, multiple soldiers are wounded

Soldiers escape

Soldiers enter moment of calm, patch up wounded, feeble attempts at garnering sympathy from the audience are made

This sequence happens three times until the final battle of the movie takes place.

Guess what kind of character I play

Despite these flaws, I still enjoyed the movie. I appreciated how the camera never let you know things that the characters didn’t. There weren’t any moments where the audience is shown an alien creeping in the rafters above a soldier, and the audience watches helplessly as the pour soul wanders straight into his trap. The effects were top notch, and the action was always intense. I'm also glad to see that no unnecessary romances were forced into the plot, though I thought for sure it was coming at a couple points.

Though I give the film a 6.5, it’s a score that’s in comparison with the Oscar worthy films of the world. If I were to rate the film on entertainment value alone, (which is the true purpose of any flick), I would give the movie an 8. If you take the film for the light summer action film it is, it’s worth the money and a watch in theaters. Deep quality bass and explosions spread across the behemoth silver screen cannot be compared to anything on your little 32’ plasma at home.

Final Score: 6.5

The 2011 Oscar Nominees

2011-01-25T17:34:00.000-08:00

First off, actually, is the horribly disappointing news to myself that the website roguereview is already taken by some random, generic site with pictures of science fiction rogues. http://roguereview.com/ Awesome. Dreams destroyed. So I'll probably be changing the name of my blog soon...whenever I think of something.

Next is the Oscar nominees. This is kind of a rant, so I apologize in advance.

Big thing first. WHERE THE HELL IS SHUTTER ISLAND. That movie was fantastic, directed by a fantastic director, and led by a fantastic acting performance. Clearly the academy hates Leo, as he has never won an Oscar, despite his amazing performances. Shutter Island failed to get even ONE nomination. The movie has an 8.0 on IMDB, which is higher than many of the other nominated movies, and it still gets the shaft.

Why?! Why do you hate me, Academy?!

Next is Nolan. Inception is an amazing movie for many different reasons. Do I think it will win best picture? No. But it was missing two nominations that it DID deserve to win. Director and Editing. Nolan not only wrote the screenplay and produced the movie, but coordinated the whole damn thing. There is an incredible amount of depth to the movie, an idea he had been working on since Memento in 2000. Also, imagine the difficulty in editing all those 5 layers of the dream world without putting anything out of sequence and leaving any goofs or plot holes. How did it not get nominated?

How about Tron: Legacy? Got the sound editing nomination...which is cool I guess, but it failed to get the three things it did amazing. Art direction, Original score, and Visual Effects. If you haven't listened to Daft Punk's Original Soundtrack they did for Tron, do so now. I'm not even a fan of Daft Punk, nor do I listen to that sort of music, but it is some fantastic stuff. Also, how could a movie that had visual effects and eye candy as a focus NOT even be nominated for Visual Effects! Did the Academy even realize that Jeff Bridge's young self was completely digital!

I may sound like a nerd just complaining that his favorite dorky movies didn't get recognition they deserve, but that is not the case. I have seen 75% of all the nominated movies, and I am a dedicated movie enthusiast. Does Tron deserve best pic? Of course not. Does Inception? No. The only thing I think Inception deserves to WIN is best original screenplay. It deserves the other nominations to be placed among the best of the year, but I don't believe it actually IS the best of anything else. This was a great year for movies.

And screw the Social Network for sweeping the Golden Globes. It's a fantastic movie, but it is not in any way "sweep" worthy. It deserves the nominations, but not all those wins. I thought the story wasn't that great, (as the end was very unfulfilled and sudden), and don't mention any crap that it's based on a true story! You can't count that! Hell yes I can. Being a true story doesn't give the movie a crutch or freebie card to be put above other fictional movies with far better plots. Black Swan, The Fighter, True Grit, Shutter Island, and Inception all have better plots. Social Network has recieved so much praise simply because it is relative to the times. Facebook and online social network are all the rage now, and the academy thinks that's what the people want.

At least the People's Choice awards usually get things right.

Usually.

Cage The Elephant: Thank You, Happy Birthday

2011-01-18T00:33:00.000-08:00

When I first listened to Cage The Elephant’s 2008 debut album, I fell in love. It was an ass-kicking, high energy combination of funk, blues, rock, that all fell together into a wonderful blend. There were some great beats, sick guitar riffs, quick and loose little guitar solos here and there, and some unique vocals from lead singer Matthew Shultz. Needless to say I was excited when I heard that a follow-up album was to come.

Thank Yak...dammit *scribble*

I’ve listened to the band’s new album Thank You, Happy Birthday about a dozen times now courtesy of a full stream of the album on the band’s Myspace, however I have yet to buy the album. I’m not sure I’m ever going to, either. For me, it seems CtE has fallen into the sophomore slump.

The first song of the album, Always Something is decent enough. It’s a bit slower than the average song from their debut album, but it has a catchy beat and the band’s signature sound. I wouldn’t really put it over any song off the first album, however. Aberdeen is somewhat the same; acceptable, but nothing spectacular. I soon realized that this would be what best describes the album as a whole. Out of the dozen or so songs, I found that I really only enjoy listening to roughly half of them, and even then I don’t really feel like I’m listening to Cage The Elephant.

Following those first two tracks comes Indy Kidz, and I really don’t like this song. At all. It seems to me like the guys were trying to mock the whole indie/hipster scene, which I don’t mind at all and often find rather humorous when people do so, but to dedicate a whole song to it? And as the third track? Shultz’s moans and groans and screams are all over the place, and not at all pleasing to listen to. They ruin whatever potential the instrumentals may have had, though they aren’t too spectacular either. Perhaps it is just my taste of music, but going off what their first album sounded like, it is quite a distant step into the wrong direction.

The fourth track is the single and radio-hit Shake Me Down, and it is without a doubt my favorite song off the album. After that there are a whole bunch of radio-friendly pop-rock songs that are once again acceptable, but nothing special. Sell Yourself suffers the same problem as Indy Kidz, and The slow lullaby Rubber Ball, while sort of interesting just because of its obscurity, just ends up feeling really out of place. This is something that plagues the whole album. It simply lacks the flow of the first.

One of my biggest problems with the album is in fact Shultz’s voice, which was one of the best things about the original. In their debut album he actually sang. He had his own quirky but great and distinct sounding voice. For TYHB, there are a few songs that are reminiscent of his voice from the first, but for the majority he seems to talk and scream and make incoherent wails more so than he actually does any vocals. Also MIA are the former mentioned catchy guitar riffs and out-of-control guitar solos. Sure, there are a few examples of good guitar here and there, but nothing comparable to the first album.

TYHP just lacks what made the first album so amazing. Instead it seems like CtE wanted to deviate from the distinct sound they had already created in search of a new signature sound, something that was not at all necessary. Instead of finding one theme and sticking to it, what ended up coming out was a compilation of scattered ideas that would be alright if grouped with similar sounding songs, (perhaps even done by different artists altogether, ones who have already perfected the sounds these songs try to imitate), but just ends up not being Cage The Elephant.

Can't cage ME

I don’t really have the right to say that, seeing as I’m just a music enthusiast sitting at a computer, but it’s how I feel each time I re-listen to the album, hoping that it will all just suddenly click and I realized I was just listening to it all wrong. Where did the funk go? What happened to the rolling-on-the-ground solos? The rock? The blues? I really do appreciate when band’s try to do something new, but completely changing your sound after only one album? A sound that really needed no revision in the first place, but rather simply a bit of perfection?

I will wait, CtE, as I still have the utmost respect for you, but I hope that for your third outing, (which I do not doubt there will be, looking at your sales thus far), you return to your roots. Please go back to the sound that garnered you so many of your loyal fans in the first place. If I had given the first album a 9.5 then...

Final Score: 6.5

Metroid Other M

2010-10-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

Lets get one thing out of the way: Metroid Other M is fun to play. There's classic Metroid item hunting, all your favorite power-ups, great bosses and some nice nods to the fans. The new gameplay style is fast paced and a blast to play. If you are a big fan of the series, stop listening to reviews and just buy it, you are bound to find some amusement.

Now on to the nitty-gritty.

Metroid is one of Nintendo's big franchises and as a result gets a considerable amount of love and polish. I honestly believe there is no such thing as a bad Metroid game, just like there's no such thing as a bad Zelda game (Cd-i abominations aside, of course). Trying to rank the best and worst of these series is like trying to sort out a handful of diamonds from biggest to smallest. The fact is they're all diamonds.

But if I had to rank Other M among the rest , I'd give it a solid seat right next to Metroid Prime: Hunters, (Hunters being the worst and Metroid Prime/Super Metroid being the best.) But unlike the dull and unexciting singleplayer gameplay experience that left many unsatisfied with Hunters, Other M manages to fall on its face in the story department. That's right, the story department; in a Metroid game.

The game was handed over to Team Ninja, the guys who gave us Ninja Gaiden, Dead or Alive, and ridiculous breast physics. Nintendo didn't let them give Samus the Team Ninja makeover in that department, though they did manage to give her quite a donk when in her Zero Suit, which they made sure was often.

The story has a heavy Japanese influence, so if you're not a fan of anime and its common mannerisms and overblown drama, you're probably not going to like the story. The writing, whether it is directly translated or not is painful to listen to. There were many times when I face-palmed in embarrassment, especially when a roommate would walk in and hear Samus giving one of her pathetic monologues, which is all the time.

For anyone who pictured Samus as a cold-hearted bitch or a confident and quiet badass, prepare to be disappointed.

Giving her feelings isn't really the problem though, (she is human after all), but it's the personality they've given her. One minute she's force-feeding missiles down the throat of a flaming Cthulu and the next she is paralyzed with fear before the arch nemesis she has defeated a half-dozen times. It just doesn't make sense. The rest of the story had potential, but it's just poorly depicted. Most of it is just Metroid Fusion rehashed with different enemies, and the Adam story arc has a very disappointing revelation.

She's not as cool as she looks

In this game, instead of Samus losing her powers through the normal explosion or stolen by an evil space-entity, Team Ninja tried to do something new. While I commend them for trying to find a realistic reason to give players the chance to hunt down the same power-ups for the umpteenth time, the reason they've chosen is just stupid. Samus, out of respect for her former service to Adam, chooses not to use any of her powers so that she doesn't injure any of the other soldiers. Not only is she rarely ever in contact with these others to pose any threat to them, there are times when Samus is dying and won't use a power to save herself until Adam says "hey stupid, use your such-and-such ability". I would have been fine with this is some of Samus more destructive abilities, like the Power-Bombs and Super Missilies had been disabled, and then we could have spent time finding new power-ups, (of which there are none.) But instead you lose everything down to your charge beam. I'd of much rather had Samus lose her powers in an explosion like every other installment.

Nintendo did get this right, however

Aside from all that, the part of the game you actually play is great. The camera is third person like the originals, but now Samus can move in three dimensions. The controls are all done with just the Wiimote, and while I think the better decision would have been to go with the nunchuk, the setup works. Moving is a tad clunky since you're limited to eight directions, but it never causes any needless frustration. The camera is set to certain angles depending on your location, but it works very well and gives some nice cinematic views on occasion. There's a button for shooting, jumping, and morphball. Everything else is context sensitive. A cool and handy dodge move can be used by tapping any direction a split second before you get your ass handed to you. You're going to be using this a lot as the enemies and battle are much more "close combat" and in-your-face than previous games. Finishing moves are also welcome. To inspect the area, (though there is no Prime-esque scanning) and to shoot missiles, you point the Wiimote at the screen. This works somewhat fine, but the game fails to tell you an important secret. While in first person mode, you can shake the Wiimote to use your dodge move. This makes the game 1000x less frustrating than it would have been otherwise. Luckily I discovered this on accident early and never found the perspective switch to be much of a problem, though I've heard from others about how horrible they thought it was.

The game isn't too long, I put in about eight hours to finish the story at a leisurely pace, and then spent about two more hours post-game collecting all the items I missed. Without an achievement system like the Xbox 360 or PS3, there isn't much reason to play the game again however. Getting all the items gets you some disappointing concept art and unlocks a hard mode. Beating hard mode gives you nothing, and there are no secret endings.

If I could give one score to Other M's gameplay, minus the story elements, I'd give the game a solid 9.0. Its classic Metroid fun, and a fresh take on a series that's already proven it can do things different. However, the story and dialogue are just so disappointing, that I must lower the final score to an 8.0. It's heartbreaking to think of how awesome the narrative could have been if the resources Nintendo used had been applied more effectively. Hopefully for the next game, we finally get an awesome sequel to Fusion where Samus is wanted by the Federation for blowing up their space station.

Minus her personality.

Final score: 8.0